It's going to be a beautiful weekend, according to NY1.

I was getting amused this morning at how news anchor Cheryl Wills was getting progressively more excited about each successive weather report. It went from "It's going to be lovely" to "It's going to be absolutely gorgeous" to "Break out the bikinis, woo!"

Other highlights included Roger Clark cuddling with kittens at an animal shelter, and Pat Kiernan uttering the phrase "Skinny Bitch" during ITP.

With that, there will be no updates for the next week, as I am off to Paris. I don't think there's a Neu York Un there.

See you next week!

Catholic overload

Once again, I apologize for the cobwebs up in here. I’ve been staring down some major deadlines for work, so I haven’t had much time to turn on the TV, let alone write about it.

But I will say that for the five or six times I managed to catch a few minutes of NY1 last week, it seemed like EVERY time I watched, it was all about the new Head Catholic Guy (or cardinal or archbishop or whatever) that has been appointed in New York.

I understand this story is important to the city’s Catholics, but for those of us who aren’t Catholic (which would be the majority of New Yorkers), it has no bearing whatsoever on our day to day lives. Personally, I could not be less religious – I don’t mind if other people are, as long as they’re not all murdery about it and don’t try to convert me – and I found myself getting irritated that NY1 was devoting so much airtime to this story. This morning, they were STILL going on about it. Aren’t there other, more important things to report on? It’s time to move on, guys!

Pat's Papers relaunch

I’m a bit late in blogging this, but time-starved Americans can now enjoy their own version of “In the Papers” -- the beloved NY1 feature in which Pat Kiernan highlights the major stories in the print NYC newspapers every day and which regular readers will know is the main reason I still subscribe to Time Warner Cable (‘cause you can’t get NY1 with other providers) – with the relaunch of “Pat’s Papers.”

Viewers around the country can now watch taped roundups of the national newspapers, which follow the exact same format as In The Papers and are taped during Pat’s downtime at the station. There’s a story about it in today’s New York Times, which also raises the aspect of how this allows Pat to build his brand.

I didn’t catch ITP today, as I left the house well before it came on and haven’t had a chance to catch the repeat online. So the best part of this morning’s broadcast, based on the 10 minutes I got to watch, was undoubtedly listening to Roma Torrey, one of NY1’s most conservative looking and professional sounding anchors, utter the phrase “80s glam metal” in her review of the new Broadway musical “Rock of Ages” (which looks god awful, by the way).

The Cyclone opens, but whither the rest of Coney Island?

This morning New York One had a story on the annual opening day of the Cyclone, that famously rickety deathtrap of a rollercoaster on Coney Island. The Cyclone is ancient, decrepit and falling apart, but is dearly beloved by zillions of devoted followers -- much like Coney Island itself. But, as the NY1 report noted, the rest of Coney Island's future hangs in the balance. The rest of Astroland has been shuttered, several boardwalk institutions like Ruby's are closing, and city officials want to turn CI into a "year-round destination" (read: clean and safe for children and yuppie families).

I can see why they would want to do this, really I can, but I'm one of those old, nostalgic die-hards who wants Coney Island to stay exactly how it is. I love my annual treks to CI for the free Siren Music Festival, the annual freakshow that is the Mermaid Day Parade, the extremely "colorful" locals (a journalistic euphemism if there ever was one - if you see it in an article, it usually means the person being described is batshit crazy) and of course, my beloved Nathan's Hot Dogs. To me, Coney Island without these things isn't Coney Island at all. Look, if I want to go to a nice beach, I'll hop on the LIRR and go to long beach, okay? So leave CI alone!

But I guess it wouldn't be the first time CI has changed. According to Ken Burns' documentary on New York City, it was once an extremely posh refuge for the rich. Let's at least hope it doesn't go back to that...

Newsflash: people are dumb. But also, have big hearts.

In today's ITP, Pat highlighted an article in today's NY Daily News in which reporters conducted man on the street interviews asking people, "What is the G20?" Pat called the results "depressing" and pointed to one woman's answer in particular -- "Is that the new Gatorade drink"? "No, that's the G2," Pat sighed, with an air of utter disgust.

He also pointed out an article in one of the papers discussing the international shit storm that was apparently launched when Michelle Obama had the audacity to give the Queen a hug. Apparently this is Not Done. Oh, give me a break. First of all, it's not as if the Queen recoiled in horror; the photo shown in the article Pat was reading indicated that the hug was pretty mutual. Secondly, the Queen's lavish lifestyle is taxpayer funded, so I think UK citizens ought to be able to manhandle the old broad whenever they want! (Okay, I don't actually think that. I just think people need to not be so prim and proper and just relax a little.)

On a separate note, viewers may remember a "NY1 for You" segment a few weeks ago in which the consumer's crusader, reporter Susan Juhn, interviewed a grief-stricken elderly man whose wife of 30 years died suddenly and he didn't have the money to bury her. Well, this week, Juhn reported that thanks to the kindness of NY1 viewers, donations poured in, and with the additional help of Legal Aid and an NYC law firm working pro bono, the man was able to raise enough money to finally lay his wife to rest. It was a total tear-jerker of a story and I won't lie, it made me a little farklempt.

So what else is happening on NY1 this week? Well, apparently both NYC baseball teams have new stadiums or something. Seriously, it seems to be ALL they can talk about. It's as if nothing else is happening elsewhere in the world. Also, the reports are by and large ridiculously flattering and gushy. But one reporter pointed out that when the excitement wears off, the sticker shock will set in. The price of taking a small family to a game at Yankee stadium and buying each a hot dog and a beverage? Something like $250. What's crazy is that people will probably show up in droves anyway.

Sham-whoa!

Okay, I have to apologize in advance for posting another item that isn't directly to do with NY1 but rather the commercials. BUT - this is too crazy not to mention.

A couple of posts ago, I blogged about the guy in the Slap Chop commercials and how I hate him because he looks like an overgrown fratboy with a crystal meth problem.

Well - I was right! He is indeed no good at all! Because apparently, the Sham Wow guy -- as he is commonly known, since he is also a pitchman for that product, which is some kind of highly absorbent towel -- was recently arrested for beating up a hooker.

Slap chop, indeed! I hope he never gets another TV pitching job again.

Onto NY1 news - Pat's back! And a better week was enjoyed by all...

MTA Meltdown

If you've been watching NY1 over the last few days (and of course you have), you'll no doubt have noticed the huge amount of coverage that the MTA's budget meltdown and proposed doomsday fare hikes have gotten. It was the lead story on The Call Tuesday night, the NY1 Wiseguys debated it on the Road to City Hall, and the main news broadccasts have referenced it every three minutes or so.

And while it SUCKS to suddenly have to pay 25% more for a subway ride - at the precise moment when people can ill afford to do so - I'm going to come out and say that I don't think the $2 per fare/$87 per unlimited monthly pass fares were sustainable.

People, you get A LOT when you buy a Metrocard. You get to travel all over the city, all night long, 24/7. You get to cover huge distances - you can go from the Bronx to Coney Island, from Harlem to the Airport, for $2. You get to take superfast express trains when you're traveling long distance, and if a train that you're on breaks down, you don't have to get off the train and take the bus, because they can just re-route you along the other track since we have the dual-track system. And on several subway lines, you get clean, shiny new trains.

In short, New Yorkers, you just don't know how good you've got it, even with the fare increases. How do I know this? Because I just spent two years living in London, which has a public transport system that is downright apalling by comparison. It's twice as expensive for shorter distances and even more for longer distances, since you get charged for how far you travel. There are no express trains and there's no dual track system, so if you're on a train that breaks down (which you are, frequently, if you live there), you have to wait for them to drag the train out of the station and then you have to just get off and find another way to get where you're going and the whole subway line's service gets suspended. Oh, and it CLOSES. Every night. No trains past 12:30 on weekend nights and even earlier on week nights. The trains are also much dirtier and smaller, which means they're way more crowded. I swear, the MTA could hike the fares up to $4 and it would still be a dream by comparison.

So that's my $0.20, though Curtis Sliwa would undoutedly disagree with me.