Ironically, given the timing of this blog, I haven't had much time to actually watch TV lately, so I can't really comment on recent NY1 broadcasts today. So I'm gonna write about the commercials instead (I've had a couple of comments on this already).

I spent two years in London and just moved back last summer. I would have thought, in the time I was gone, that they might have gotten some new commercials, but no. They’ve carried right on showing the same old ads, from the idiotic Sleepy’s bitches jumping up and down on mattresses to the “Taxi? Taxi? TAX-AYYYYY!” asshole that made me swear never to take whatever car service they’re advertising.

The most irritating of all, however, is another car service commercial. It starts with an outside shot of four women having brunch at a sidewalk café; a caption reads, “New York women talk about Carmel,” or something like that.

Here’s the dialogue, which I can type from memory:

Cow #1: “He comes when I call.”
Cow #2: “He takes me shopping.”
Cow #3: “And you love to shop!”
Another cow: “He takes me to the theater.”
Different cow: “I love the theater.”
Different cow: “He takes me to the airport.”
Other cow: “Now that’s huge!”
Annoying cow: “Sometimes… he just takes me home at night.”
Most annoying cow: “Oooooooh, girl.”
Unidentified cow: “I always feel safe and comfortable when I’m with him.”

Obviously, they’re talking about a car service, and they are obviously trying to parallel Sex and the City and make it sound like they are talking about some dude. Which is excruciating. Can we please let that show die? It was mildly amusing for the first couple of seasons, but that’s IT. It went WAY downhill after that, and the movie was a giant steaming dog turd. It’s not that great, people. Let’s allllllll move on.

Who's the hottest NY1 anchor?

You know who else is obsessed with NY1? Paul Rudd, that’s who. (As if I needed another reason to love him). In this interview with Time Out New York, he explains that he named all his fantasy football teams after various NY1 anchors, including the Pat Kiernans, the Annika Pergamets, etc… Genius.

Speaking of that foxy Canadian PK, we all know that ladies love him (despite the fact that he looks a little bit like Dave Foley, the diminutive, impish anchor on News Radio) and that he is the flyest male anchor at the station. But who is the hottest lady anchor?

My friend used to have a huge crush on Annika, before she lost some weight and got a haircut. Kristen Shaughnessy (aka “The Shaughn” from here on out) is an attractive lady, albeit a tad mom-ish and in need of some serious help with her makeup.

My guess is that the best looking gal is probably one of the correspondents and not one of the anchors. Vivian Whateverherlastname is (Lee? I’m blanking) is pretty, but she’s about the only one who springs to mind that I would single out as being of above-average attractiveness. (This, to me, is part of NY1’s charm, by the way.)

Anybody care to weigh in on this one? Post away!

Oh my god, WHAT is that on Curtis Sliwa's forehead? I'm assuming it has something to do with Ash Wednesday, but it looks like the priest just sort of dipped his whole fist in ash and then mashed it on Sliwa's forehead. 

In other NY1 news - EXCELLENT vox pops this morning in a story on how the L train will soon be automated on weekends. The crew obviously just stopped at Bedford Ave; the people they interviewed looked like they were at a casting call for the next Harmony Korine movie. The first chick - we'll call her hipsterette #1 -- had pink hair and a lip piercing. She said something like, "uh, i dunoooooooo, having a train without a driver seems, like, really creeeeeepy." 

This was followed by hipsterette #2, who had a darker shade of pink hair and also sported a lip piercing. This comment was then followed by a dude with shaggy hair; he was definitely a hipster, but more of the Elephant 6 collective variety than the exit wound hairdo, electro pop variety. Anyway, it's been awhile since I have seen such a strictly representative sample of a neighborhood on any news broadcast, anywhere. 

Welcome to New York Two

Welcome to New York Two, a blog about all things New York One. I’d like to kick this off with a little Q&A:

Q: Why a blog on New York One?

A: People, I watch a LOT of New York One. I find myself constantly making comments out loud at the TV when I’m watching, so I figured it would be better to write them all down here instead of muttering alone in my apartment like a crazy person.

Q: Why call it New York Two? Couldn’t you think of a better name?

A: No, I could not. Suggestions are welcome.

Q: What do you plan to write about, exactly?

A: It will vary from day to day, but that’s the beauty of New York One –it offers so much rich terrain. Potential topics include: Why does Kristen Shaughnessy always look like she just lost a bar fight? Why does Adam Balkin look perpetually startled? Where did Roger Clarke come from, exactly? Where on earth do they find the people they use in their “man on the street” interviews? Why does the traffic lady always say “Alternate side parking rules, THEY are in effect” EVERY damned day instead of just saying “Alternate side parking rules are in effect” like a normal person? Why is Pat Kiernan so dreamy? Why has the network been running the same commercials for the last five years?

Stay tuned for more inane updates and ruminations on your favorite low-budget cable news channel. ‘Cause you definitely won’t get THAT on Fios.